The Christmas Invasion:
The Doctor: My head! I'm having a neural implosion. I need-
Jackie: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Just say it; tell me!
The Doctor: I need--
Jackie: Tell me, tell me!
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Painkillers?
The Doctor: [increasingly frustrated] I need-
Jackie: D'you need aspirin?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Umm, codeine, Paracetamol? Oh I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: [getting hysterical] Is it food? Something simple, bowl of soup, nice bowl of soup, soup and a sandwich?! Oh, soup, and a little ham sandwich?!
The Doctor: [snapping] I need you to SHUT UP!
Jackie: [to Rose, offended] Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
.......................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: Oi, you could have someone's eye out with that!
[The Doctor takes away and deactivates the Leader's energy whip, then grabs the Leader's staff and snaps it in two.]
The Doctor: You just can't get the staff. [points at him] Now you! Just wait, I'm busy! [Aside] Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North! Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life! [to Rose] Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannins, just the thing for healing the synapses. Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?
Rose: Umm... different.
The Doctor: Good different or bad different?
Rose: Just.... different.
The Doctor: Am I.... ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of.... brown.
The Doctor: [disappointed] Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! [Rose looks annoyed] Ooh, that's rude.... Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Sycorax Leader: Who exactly are you?
The Doctor: [Grinning] Well, that's the question!
Sycorax Leader: [Bellowing] I demand to know who you are!
The Doctor: [Mimicking] I don't knooooow! [normal] See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that.... I-I just don't know, I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? [winks at Rose] Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob! And how am I gonna react when I see this? A great big threatening button. Ah-hah.
[sees the control matrix and runs up to it]
The Doctor: A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess, it's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it? And what have we got here? Blood? :[tastes] Yep, definitely, blood, human blood, A-positive, with just a dash of iron. Haagh. But that means.... blood control; blood control!! Awwww, I haven't seen blood control for years! You're controlling all the A-positives. Which leaves us with a great, big, stinking problem. 'Cause I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button -which should never, ever, ever be pressed- then I just wanna do this!
[Presses the button]
........................................................................................................................................................................
Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well.... you could do that- yeah, you could do that, of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings; consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But, the point still stands: Leave them alone!
Sycorax Leader: Or what?
The Doctor: Or, [picks up a sword] I challenge you!
[the Sycorax start yelling]
The Doctor: Ooh, that struck a chord! Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?
Sycorax Leader: You stand as this world's champion?
The Doctor: Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you've just summed me up. So, do you accept my challenge? Or are you just a kalak pel kasa kree salvak?
[Both kneel]
Sycorax Leader: For the planet?!
The Doctor: For the planet!
......................................................................................................................................................................
[During the swordfight, the Sycorax Leader has sliced the Doctor's sword-hand off]
The Doctor: You cut my hand off!
[The Sycorax Leader bellows with triumph]
The Doctor: And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this.
[The Doctor's hand grows back]
Sycorax Leader: [shocked] Witchcraft!
The Doctor: Time Lord.
Rose: Doctor!
[She throws the Doctor a new sword]
The Doctor: Oh, so I'm still The Doctor then?
Rose: No arguments from me.
The Doctor: [In quasi-Southern Appalachian accent] You wanna know the best bit? This new hand? It's a fightin hand!
........................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: [addressing the Sycorax] By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of Time. When you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential — when you talk of the Earth, then make sure you tell them this. It. Is. Defended!
........................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones! 'Cause I'm a completely new man! I could bring down your government with a single word.
Harriet Jones: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met. But I don't think you're quite capable of that.
The Doctor: No, you're right, not a single word. Just six.
Harriet Jones: I don't think so.
The Doctor: Six words.
Harriet Jones: Stop it!
The Doctor: Six. [walks over to Alex, removes his earpiece and whispers the six words to him] Don't you think she looks tired?
.......................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: My head! I'm having a neural implosion. I need-
Jackie: What do you need?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Just say it; tell me!
The Doctor: I need--
Jackie: Tell me, tell me!
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Painkillers?
The Doctor: [increasingly frustrated] I need-
Jackie: D'you need aspirin?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Umm, codeine, Paracetamol? Oh I dunno, Pepto-Bismol?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: Liquid paraffin? Vitamin C, vitamin D, vitamin E?
The Doctor: I need-
Jackie: [getting hysterical] Is it food? Something simple, bowl of soup, nice bowl of soup, soup and a sandwich?! Oh, soup, and a little ham sandwich?!
The Doctor: [snapping] I need you to SHUT UP!
Jackie: [to Rose, offended] Oh, he hasn't changed that much, has he?
.......................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: Oi, you could have someone's eye out with that!
[The Doctor takes away and deactivates the Leader's energy whip, then grabs the Leader's staff and snaps it in two.]
The Doctor: You just can't get the staff. [points at him] Now you! Just wait, I'm busy! [Aside] Mickey, hello! And Harriet Jones, MP for Flydale North! Blimey, it's like This Is Your Life! [to Rose] Tea! That's all I needed! Good cup of tea! Super-heated infusion of free-radicals and tannins, just the thing for healing the synapses. Now, first things first. Be honest. How do I look?
Rose: Umm... different.
The Doctor: Good different or bad different?
Rose: Just.... different.
The Doctor: Am I.... ginger?
Rose: No, you're just sort of.... brown.
The Doctor: [disappointed] Aw, I wanted to be ginger! I've never been ginger! And you, Rose Tyler! Fat lot of good you were! You gave up on me! [Rose looks annoyed] Ooh, that's rude.... Is that the sort of man I am now? Am I rude? Rude and not ginger.
.........................................................................................................................................................................
Sycorax Leader: Who exactly are you?
The Doctor: [Grinning] Well, that's the question!
Sycorax Leader: [Bellowing] I demand to know who you are!
The Doctor: [Mimicking] I don't knooooow! [normal] See, there's the thing. I'm the Doctor, but beyond that.... I-I just don't know, I literally do not know who I am. It's all untested. Am I funny? Am I sarcastic? Sexy? [winks at Rose] Right old misery? Life and soul? Right-handed? Left-handed? A gambler? A fighter? A coward? A traitor? A liar? A nervous wreck? I mean, judging by the evidence I've certainly got a gob! And how am I gonna react when I see this? A great big threatening button. Ah-hah.
[sees the control matrix and runs up to it]
The Doctor: A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right? Let me guess, it's some sort of control matrix, hmm? Hold on, what's feeding it? And what have we got here? Blood? :[tastes] Yep, definitely, blood, human blood, A-positive, with just a dash of iron. Haagh. But that means.... blood control; blood control!! Awwww, I haven't seen blood control for years! You're controlling all the A-positives. Which leaves us with a great, big, stinking problem. 'Cause I really don't know who I am. I don't know when to stop. So if I see a great, big, threatening button -which should never, ever, ever be pressed- then I just wanna do this!
[Presses the button]
........................................................................................................................................................................
Sycorax Leader: Blood control is just one form of conquest. I could summon the armada and take this world by force!
The Doctor: Well.... you could do that- yeah, you could do that, of course you could! But why? Look at these people, these human beings; consider their potential! From the day they arrive on the planet, blinking, step into the sun, there is more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than- no, hold on. Sorry, that's The Lion King. But, the point still stands: Leave them alone!
Sycorax Leader: Or what?
The Doctor: Or, [picks up a sword] I challenge you!
[the Sycorax start yelling]
The Doctor: Ooh, that struck a chord! Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply?
Sycorax Leader: You stand as this world's champion?
The Doctor: Thank you. I've no idea who I am, but you've just summed me up. So, do you accept my challenge? Or are you just a kalak pel kasa kree salvak?
[Both kneel]
Sycorax Leader: For the planet?!
The Doctor: For the planet!
......................................................................................................................................................................
[During the swordfight, the Sycorax Leader has sliced the Doctor's sword-hand off]
The Doctor: You cut my hand off!
[The Sycorax Leader bellows with triumph]
The Doctor: And now I know what sort of man I am. I'm lucky, because quite by chance, I'm still within the first fifteen hours of my regeneration cycle, which means I have just enough residual cellular energy to do this.
[The Doctor's hand grows back]
Sycorax Leader: [shocked] Witchcraft!
The Doctor: Time Lord.
Rose: Doctor!
[She throws the Doctor a new sword]
The Doctor: Oh, so I'm still The Doctor then?
Rose: No arguments from me.
The Doctor: [In quasi-Southern Appalachian accent] You wanna know the best bit? This new hand? It's a fightin hand!
........................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: [addressing the Sycorax] By the ancient rites of combat, I forbid you to scavenge here for the rest of Time. When you go back to the stars and tell others of this planet, when you tell them of its riches, its people, its potential — when you talk of the Earth, then make sure you tell them this. It. Is. Defended!
........................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: Don't challenge me, Harriet Jones! 'Cause I'm a completely new man! I could bring down your government with a single word.
Harriet Jones: You're the most remarkable man I've ever met. But I don't think you're quite capable of that.
The Doctor: No, you're right, not a single word. Just six.
Harriet Jones: I don't think so.
The Doctor: Six words.
Harriet Jones: Stop it!
The Doctor: Six. [walks over to Alex, removes his earpiece and whispers the six words to him] Don't you think she looks tired?
.......................................................................................................................................................................
The Doctor: Trouble's just the bits in between! It's all waiting out there, Jackie. And it's brand new to me. All those planets, creatures and horizons...I haven't seen them yet. Not with these eyes. [to Rose] And it is going to be.... fantastic!
[Rose smiles and the Doctor extends his hand for her to take it.]
Rose: That hand of yours still gives me the creeps.
[The Doctor grins and wiggles his fingers. Rose takes his hand.]
Rose: So where are we gonna go first?
The Doctor: Um.... [points] that way. No, hold on. [points again] That way.
Rose: [points in the same direction] That way?
The Doctor: Yeah?
Rose: [smiles] Yeah. That way.
......................................................................................................................................................................
HUMAN NATURE:
[Rose smiles and the Doctor extends his hand for her to take it.]
Rose: That hand of yours still gives me the creeps.
[The Doctor grins and wiggles his fingers. Rose takes his hand.]
Rose: So where are we gonna go first?
The Doctor: Um.... [points] that way. No, hold on. [points again] That way.
Rose: [points in the same direction] That way?
The Doctor: Yeah?
Rose: [smiles] Yeah. That way.
......................................................................................................................................................................
HUMAN NATURE:
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